Validation is like a good back massage, or a Toblerone - who does not like it!!!
But do we ever ask for it?
Very often an argument scaling up into full on war (or all out withdrawal time) is simply because we do not recognize that the trigger was that we did not feel validated.
Or that the other person over-reacted because we do not know to say: "I hear your point, even though I have another opinion."
Validation makes the world go round, world go round... much, much smoother. I am not talking about buttering someone up to get your way - that is manipulation. I am talking about really listening, not needing someone to agree with everything you say or think, and asking the same for self.
But starting with validating ourselves is the best place! A little self-appreciation, self-love and self-respect goes a long way towards making us less reactive, more confident and more content.
For someone who has never practiced this, self-validation feels false and uncomfortable. But just persevere, Buttercup... before you know it you will start feeling the effects of it, and loving it.
The great thing to remember is that you do not even need to believe it, you just have to say it - preferably out loud or write it - as the brain will accept what you say as the truth even if you do not believe it yet.
Therefore stop saying negative things - the brain believes that too! Rather replace it with a positive mindful practice, and withing 3 - 6 weeks of consistent practice you will notice a change in yourself.
Stru's Bob, Sweetheart!
Have you tried it yet? Looking forward to hearing from you.
So this is where I tell you more about my journey...
Maybe there is something in my story you can use to make your own life better. I really do hope that my random ramblings are of use to someone out there!