5 Things I can do today to go from LOOKING OK to BEING OK
1. Acknowledging feelings
We become so entrenched in not feeling vulnerable that we end up not feeling.
We fear feeling emotions that we view as "negative", and therefore we avoid at all costs feeling at all!
But the only way is through, and when we become willing to honour our feelings, really feeling them and actually letting them surface, we find that we actually have not turned into a puddle!
We have it all wrong! It is not the feelings that are debilitating, but the fear of feeling them.
Once we have a (stern) conversation with our unconscious mind - something like "Enough already, I am an adult, actually, and I have help and support and I am loved and I can feel and process my feelings" - we move from helpless (unconscious) child mode to empowered adult. Try it!
2. Asking for Help
This one is simple. Not easy, but simple.
First realize that you do not actually have to be perfect.
No one is, sweetheart!
Then know this - people love being asked for help!
Then ask for help, sit back in astonishment... and enjoy!
3. Being Willing to Fail
Same thing really...
But the catch here is that your self esteem could be entrenched in being right.
If that is the case, get this: You are already enough. Even if you make mistakes like every human being on this planet.
Starting to get my drift, are you? - no one is right all the time!
Shortest way through it?
Simply say: "Really, I messed up? Sorry."
4. Letting Go
That means authentically facing our past hurts and re-framing the experiences into lessons learned.
It also means making space to process our feelings of hurt, loss, rejection,shame and guilt.
This may take support from a professional, but you are worth a life of joy - there are many ways to find the necessary support, the real problem is becoming aware that we can actually do something about unprocessed feelings.
And live free...
5. Doing the Real You
This one is just the best!
We all have an edited image of how we think "acceptable" looks which we serve up to the world.
Great news! You are the only one who can do you best!
You have so much to give when you come from your authentic self.
Not the self that started changing for the people and the world around you, from a very young age - just to be acceptable!
No!!!! The self that was born perfect.
The self that you can learn to treat like you treat your best friend. With respect and acceptance and appreciation and loving kindness.
Try that from this day forward, sweetheart. Towards Happiness.
Baby steps are OK.
I could not be writing this if I did not start doing it myself, this I can confess - stepping into myself bit by bit...
It starts with giving oneself permission to BE oneself. Best!
So this is where I tell you more about my journey...
Maybe there is something in my story you can use to make your own life better. I really do hope that my random ramblings are of use to someone out there!