I used to think that self care is feeding myself, having a roof over my head and being responsible in order to make a living.
Yes, all that is good and necessary... but not if that belief originated when you are 12 years old!
And there are a few critical missing components to take ourselves from surviving to thriving...
1. So who's job is it anyway?
Amazing how easily we slide into co-dependent relationships in which we are looking for someone who can heal us, fill us up, and take care of us - whether it is emotionally or financially. And how automatic the reflex is to assume that it is our role in the relationship to do the same for another.
Here is the thing! Co-dependence may feel safe and comforting, but is not the job of any other human being (or cat or dog or horse or job or hobby) to be all things for anyone.
The job of self care belongs squarely to ourselves and no one else.
And in that lies the blessing! Once we realize that it is actually our own job, we never have to feel unloved, un-cared for or neglected again. We can ask for what we want and we can learn to do things differently,
2. Who is in your queue?
And, without hesitation, everyone I ask this question of: "Where are you in your own queue?" will reply "Last" or "I am not in my queue".
Yes, right there, that's the problem!
When we have been conditioned to be helpful, to be good girls, supportive sons and "not selfish", we unfortunately are not taught that it takes a full well if you want to continue watering the whole world!
Put yourself in your own queue, (First, Sweetheart, First!), and be surprised how much more you have to give.
OK, so how then?
3. Wants and needs!!!
You are worth wants and needs
You are allowed wants and needs
You actually can treat yourself like you would your best friend: with respect and appreciation!
Go ahead then, pen and paper, make that list...
And start applying them, one by one, baby steps, Sweetheart!
Let me know what you are doing for yourself today!
So this is where I tell you more about my journey...
Maybe there is something in my story you can use to make your own life better. I really do hope that my random ramblings are of use to someone out there!