If this is what you want

You want to 
– heal your life
– improve relationships
– realize ambitions

– have more self esteem

But, if this is you...

You know that something is not quite working, or that something is very wrong.

You have tried every possibility, but life is just not getting better enough…

Take the audit below to review and get clear on Action Points

Emotional Maturity
Assessment

Improve your Relationships and help you achieve your dreams

Unresolved Grief Assessment

Let us find out – by doing this assessment – where you may need help.

Self
Esteem
Assessment

Find out your self-esteem level and receive helpful tips and tools.

Stress Level
Assessment

stress level

Find out if PTSD, Burnout, or Unresolved Trauma are affecting you. (Disclaimer: This is just a guide and confirmation is necessary by making an appointment with a professional familiar with the above)

Our Most Common Problem Areas - Do you need help with any of these?

Relationship Rescue

Every relationship we have is an important relationship – friends, family, the cashier behind the till, the idiot driver in front of you.
​We can learn to deal better in all aspects of relationships, but intimate relationships are usually the relationships we ask help with first.
Intimate relationships
Almost every relationship can be rescued, as long as two people are willing to work on it.
Some relationships need more work, others just need a little tweak.
Sometimes a little bit of constant tuning keeps things humming smoothly.
We are all individuals, and relationships are just like that – there are natural ups and downs, and every relationship is unique. But the downs need not be that low, and the highs can be more the norm. Sometimes we just need tools which will help us to navigate our relationships better.
Two partners’ involvement in the process is preferable, but even one partner who is doing the work will cause a ripple effect of improved relations.
Read more…

Unresolved Childhood and other Grief

Children sustain terrible loss or hurt during childhood, as well as accidental or wrongly-interpreted hurts, and has to address the unresolved grief in later years, as mostly it has not been adequately dealt with.
When a child has had to grow up too fast, whatever the reason, and has had to learn coping skills beyond his/her years, habits are established that will help the child to survive difficult circumstances.
These habits are often essential coping tools for a child who was insufficiently nurtured, protected and validated during crucial developmental stages.   But these habits will stop working when the child enters adulthood, and will continue to have negative ripple effects.
However, children are meant to be children. Children are meant to be parented by their actual primary caregivers, but these people are often themselves the product  of inadequate parenting. They may be doing their best, but may be dealing with their own life crisis or the child may just not be a match for them, or has just fallen through the cracks of their lives.
Self parenting leads to damaging limiting beliefs – read more…
Even as adults we can suffer grief and loss but have no adequate coping mechanisms, resulting in unresolved grief. That can lead to us being diagnosed with depression, cardiovascular problems, feeling stuck, substance abuse and decreased productivity. But you can get help…

Self Esteem Builder

Self esteem, or the lack of it, is the single biggest cause of problems in our day to day lives.

Low Self Esteem results in

  • interpersonal relationship challenges
  • burnout
  • anxiety and depression
  • isolation
  • lack of joy in life
  • a sense of being alone
  • feeling unaccepted
  • people pleasing


High Self Esteem results in

  • self acceptance
  • relationships improving
  • real connection
  • getting support
  • better communication
  • better decision making
  • more initiative
  • achieving goals
  • more energy


​Which do you prefer?
​If you want to improve your self esteem and if you want to improve your life, find out more…

Burnout, Anxiety and Trauma Recovery

Burnout, anxiety and depression are all physical manifestations that something is very wrong with our lives.
We are often so focused on the survival treadmill that we cannot see the outlooks, perspectives and world view that is keeping us in a negative situation.
Sometimes we need someone to be our blind spot mirror in order for us to see life in a more benevolent way, and learn strategies that can help us transform our life situations.
​We all buy into labels until we learn to take charge of our outcomes.
Do not accept labels unquestioningly as your bane in life! First be prepared to work through your unresolved childhood issues. Be prepared to look at the latest neuropsychology research. Be prepared to try something you have not tried before. Because if you show up willing to try what you have not tried before, you can achieve life changing miracles. I know, because that is the road I had to walk, climb and sometimes crawl.”
Start changing your life right now, right here…

What is I-nfinite Potential all about?

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It is an amazing thing when you find that you have been sleepwalking all of your life! It is estimated that we are spending 70 – 80% of our waking hours being driven by our sub-conscious. And the most powerful of those unconscious reactions have been cemented by the age of 7! 
This is all fine and well if you had an upbringing in which you were nurtured, affirmed and loved unconditionally, with firm but loving boundaries. But for most of us it is true that we sustained emotional injuries along the way, even during “happy” childhoods.
The good news is that you can become aware of how your story shaped your worldview as well as your habitual responses and actions. Becoming emotional mature and self sufficient is possible once awareness and self-knowledge has been established.
I-nfinite Potential was born from a desire to share the life changing tools I acquired with as many people as possible.

I know that it is possible to go from an outwardly centered perspective where other people is the source of your daily happiness – or unhappiness! – to being able to decide how your day is going to be, every day!

Books, Blogs & Websites we love

Living a life truly aligned with your highest purpose

Always have an inspiring book ready to read next…

And yes, of course, start with my books!

 

Boundaries. Dr Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend.
First on my list as I view it as a non negotiable read. Empowering and life changing.

Perfect Daughters – Robert J. Ackerman.  I cannot say enough good things about this book. Well researched, deeply insightful, most helpful. Just as good for Adult Sons!

Life Lessons For The Adult Child – Judy Klipin
Also check out her website and her blog. Great stuff!

From Survival To Recovery: Al-Anon sanctioned and available through your nearest branch

Hope for Today – Al-Anon sanctioned and available through your nearest branch

Codependence and the Power of Detachment. – Karen Casey.
Let’s face it, anything from Karen Casey is life changing. Such a good read.

Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow – Karen Casey
Another excellent read, as is any book by her.

Melody Beattie… ANYTHING by Melody Beattie is recommended! The end-of-co-dependence queen – “Codependent no more” and “The language of letting go” would be my first picks. 

Dr Laurie Weiss. ANYTHING by Dr Laurie Weiss is recommended.

A Gift to Myself – Charles L. Whitfield.
Also comes as a workbook, which is the one I prefer.

Recovering our Children – John C Cates & Jennifer Cummings.
Probably the best, user friendly little guide for parents and counselors dealing with addiction in young people.

Dr Phil. OK I am an avid Dr. Phil fan. In the days before we were exposed to so much new information, his show  – and of course Oprah – was responsible for great growth and insights. I love his practical, forthright approach, especially after having spent many fruitless years at 6 different psychologists. (Ok, not slamming all psychologists – the last one helped a lot – but very few have more than a rhetorical knowledge of the Adult Child Syndrome and prefer the Humanistic Approach, which does not help us get the tools we are needing!)
So my favourites are Self Matters, The Real Life and Relationship Rescue.

Emotional Sobriety – Tian Dalton. Great resilience builder, excellent guide out of self destructive ways.

Buddha’s Brain. Practical Neuroscience for happiness, love & wisdom – Rick Hanson.
The most up to date way to effect lasting change is through the latest scientific research by neuro-psychologists such as Rick Hanson.

How God Changes Your Brain. Andrew Neuberg & Mark Waldman. More neuro-psychology with up to date research in a practical guide.

Adult Children of Alcoholics. Janet Geringer Woititz.
No list can be complete without this groundbreaking book on ACA.

The Adult Children of Alcoholics Syndrome – Wayne Kritsberg 
An excellent book on ACA

The Gratitude Effect. Dr. John F Demartini. Research shows that a gratitude practice is one of the most healing things we can do for ourselves. This a great book to that effect.

The Road Less Traveled – M Scott Peck
A classic, excellent

Shattered Vows – Debra Laaser. For women who have been sexually betrayed

How can I ever Trust You Again? – Andrew. G Marshall.
A psychologist who specializes in marital therapy on affairs.

Put your attention where you want to go… follow the right kind of people. the ones who will be happy to nudge you from your comfort zone…

Brene Brown. Ok, let’s be honest, ANYTHING Brene is outstanding. 
if you are the only person who have not seen this Ted talk, rush on over… And Daring Greatly is a great read.

Lissa Rankin, and specially her Daily Flame – Your Inner Pilot Light
which you can sign up for on Facebook

Nick Ortner. The Tapping Solution. Love his book by the same name and can testify to the wonderful effects of tapping. Backed up by science. His blog often features tapping videos that one can tap with.

The Epiphany Process is a platform for growth and healing. I am privileged to call Jenetta Barry (The Grief Coach) my friend and she has been a very influential person in my life. I witnessed her falling apart after her daughter Jenny’s suicide, and I also witnessed her getting up again and deciding to live. She taught me everything I know about honouring one’s grief, as well as many other lessons, all of them through leading by example.
Take a look at her website here.

Jeff Brown at Soulshaping. Follow him on Facebook – always worth your time.

Raphael Cushner’s blogs and books are available here. Deeply insightful.

These are some of the best places I know for transformational, no-fluff content

Adult Children Anonymous
Great resource

Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization – everything you want to know! Read The Big Book if you can get hold of it.

Mind, Body, Green
The daily newsletter is full of really good stuff, and very often have inspirational articles about subjects such as depression, anxiety, addiction, mindfulness and meditation.

Martha Beck
Always inspirational

The Angry Therapist
John Kim’s work resonates so much with what I have learned through life experiences and he has surrounded himself with an amazing team of like-minded coaches and counselors.

Durban Meetings

​​Brian Johnson’s Philosophers Notes is a great way to get the message from a lot of books in a short time. His condensed versions of many of the greatest books out there is available as videos or PDF’s.

Don Carter’s Thawing the Iceberg website includes books and courses

My Membership Site

We all need to be part of community

Join my Facebook Page here!

This is your link to the private Facebook where you can ask your questions, comment, support others and be supported.

I love sharing empowering, uplifting and thought-provoking content, that helps us focus our attention to mindful living and relationship success.

Once you are on this page, you can ask for access to one of the support groups.

You will be able to ask questions, and get answers from a real person. (I do sleep though, and as I have a high level of self-respect I am not available all hours, but will get back to you as soon as possible!)

Hi and Welcome!

I think you must be pretty serious about taking control of your life and creating improvement if you are reading this!

I had to walk my own walk out of desperation and no matter what I tried, it was hard not knowing where to find more effective help, and eventually, no matter how hard I tried, it fell apart.

I am here to help it be more straightforward to get fast-acting, self-empowering and lasting new outlooks and tools. It does not have to be so hard for you, because I have all the shortcuts and the deep work and the truly transformative tools ready for you.

So reach out, connect. There is a real person on the other side if you want to talk!

With much love

Louise

Louise VN Liebenberg

Our time: 8:27am SAST
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Our relationships with our fathers will have a significant influence on how we see men. It will determine whether we think they are trustworthy. It will influence whether we will be fearful of being abandoned by men. Through our father’s eyes we look at ourselves – this is how we imagine men will see us. Do we measure up? Or are we always going to over-compensate to make up for us not feeling worthy. And how much bad treatment will we take simply because we fear being abandoned?

If we are lucky enough to be treated by our dads like Princess Cheesecake, the One and Only, but with respect for our separateness, our entire view of ourselves changes. We expect more for ourselves, and we are faster to dismiss relationships that are toxic for us.

Wanting our father’s approval is a very normal desire for a little girl of any age. I remember how my father ridiculed people with normal fear, so at the age of six I decided I was not scared of his pack of ferocious Alsations. They did not eat me, so there must be some truth to the notion that dogs smell fear and will attack. But that experience of trying to impress my father meant that I could not connect to feeling fear. I did not know that I had fear of abandonment triggers, as I simply could not connect to any feelings of fear!

Leoni decided that she would have to be her two sisters’ caretaker. Her dad told her as the oldest they were her responsibility to make sure they were not bullied. So she built herself a bulletproof, tough attitude. ”It was very hard to make friends, as I did not let anyone see the real me. I was longing for a relationship in which I was accepted. I did not realise that my relationships kept failing because my bulletproof attitude meant I was pushing them out of my life. I had to learn all over how to let people see the real, soft me inside.”

Sandra’s dad died when she was very young. He was her hero. They had fun. He was one hundred percent on her side. She tried to recreate that relationship all her life. Problem was that …

 

 

 

 

 

 

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