The answer depends on whether you are paying attention to what is not working in your life. We always know that something is not working, because of how it makes us feel. But we are often so used to not feeling optimal that we are not consciously noticing that it is unacceptable! Feeling “optimal” is not something everyone experiences, but you know it when you get there – it is light, content, energized and abundant. And that is worth keeping on keeping on for!
We get better little by little, and as we keep moving from plateau to plateau, new areas of stuckiness reveal itself.
(Yes, I know that is not a word, but it is now!!!)
And the magic solution always is…
I have a choice, and what can I, myself, me, DO about it today?
And, with this comes another very important principle:
If I CHOOSE not to do anything about my stuckiness, then I have lost the right to go into victim and blame the world.
Why are we stuck then?
We are simply not aware:
- Not aware that , looking from the outside, the situation is actually unacceptable.
- Not aware that we are allowing ourselves to be harmed.
- Not aware that we have choices.
- Not aware that we are giving away our power
- Not aware that is our own job – and no-one else’s – to steer our own life
- Not aware of the fears that keeps us trapped – the fears of losing love and connection, even when we do not really have the love and connection we crave
- Not aware of the bad habits and self-harming behaviours we have in place
- Not aware of our lack of self-care, self-regard and self-respect
It is called denial, but it is never on purpose.
- We simply do not know better, because we were not brought up with certain tools.
- We took responsibility for another adult, and find so much self-worth in fixing that person that we are not aware of how we harm ourselves
- Or we want the illusion of love and connection so much, that we are willing to give up bits of ourselves
- And once we have found someone who accepts us warts and all, we just do not want to ever give that up.
How do we become aware then?
Yip, this is the challenging part…
Change is sometimes only going to happen when we not only stumble a bit, or bump into a wall, but manage to turn our lives into a disaster zone.
Change does not happen miraculously. There is no spontaneous combustion. And the brain resists change, even when the situation is of the “I just cannot take this anymore” kind.
So in the end it is really up to us to notice: there is something which does not suit me, which does not work, which does not get me what I really want.
And then realize that if what I have been doing does not help, I need to find help in another way.
The good news is that there is another way, there is a solution! You are here, after all. which means that you are searching. and you are hungry for better.
Sometimes you just need a helping hand – your own personal blind spot mirror.
So, everything I write in these blog posts is really about awareness making. It was what I needed in order to improve my life, and if you are looking to improve your life, you may just find something helpful in the previous posts. I have categorized them individually and into 7 handy categories – just take a look in the sidebar for 3 more posts which will help with awareness (under categories – no.6 Awareness)