Are you tired of feeling a certain way?
Maybe you feel powerless, like nothing will ever change, no matter how many times you ask/nag/complain/plead/manipulate/guilt/shame/moralize someone into becoming what you want, changing into your idea of how it should be. Essentially trying to get someone to fix what is your own lack, your own hole to fill, your own story to change.
The thing is this, Sweetheart, there is a reason why this is tiring, spirit-breaking, devastating. It is because it just does not work! It only results in driving in bigger wedges between people. Essentially, it gets us less of what we truly want:
Less connection, less validation, but more punishment and retribution. Yes, the suckiness!
There is a way to change this, and that is by examining the story running in our heads. Because that is the one thing we actually have control over, but it is unfortunately the last thing we ever think of trying to get control over. The biggest hurdle is in just understanding the principle that we have been creating all this unhappiness in ourselves by really, utterly, deeply believing that someone should change in order for us to be happy. And how is that working for you? Because that only lasts until the next time!
It is possible to get a handle on those victim feelings. And it is not that hard to define the momemt it all went wrong, because right before that “feeling yucky” feeling, was a thought of entitlement, of being the victim of someone or a situation, somehow.
Change that thought, and right there, your life changes.
Baby steps, Sweetheart, one negative moment, one negative thought, at a time.