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Louise VN Liebenberg

Life Coach, Counselor, Author, Artist, Rescuer-of-Stray-Cats and Road Trip Lover

Click the pretty, pretty buttons below if you want to know more! And I made a little personal video for you if you want to get to know me better – look for it a bit lower on the page.

For inspiration and motivation to create connection and better relationships with confidence

Take back your power

Do it your way,
in your own time.

If this is how feel, then this book is just what you've been looking for

Hamster Wheel Relationships for Women

A Step by Step Process to Escape Unfulfilling Relationship Patterns

If you are caught in pointless spirals in which you repeat the same arguments and the same relationship disasters over and over, you will love this book.

I wrote this book for the desperate “me” from 12 years ago, who did not know what else to try, where to get help and indeed that there was another way to happiness. 

For me, I now  know that it is possible to really change your life from the inside out, that great relationships do exist, that they look different from what I thought, and that all I needed was better information. 

This book is in workbook style. You do it in your own time, at your own pace, but with support always near in the form of a Free Facebook Support Group, where you can post your questions.  Answers are posted once a week in the weekly Live Videos, but available to access in your own time.

I would love for you to have these tools and knowledge too!

About the Author, Louise VN Liebenberg

Hey!

Louise here!

I am an irrepressible optimist dedicated to helping you become who you want to be!

OK, that’s not the full story, but as I am a visual kinda girl I thought I would tell you more about myself in pictures.

Get the popcorn and enjoy the video. Less than 2 minutes!

xoxo

Judgement

It definitely sucks to feel judged. It makes us feel less powerless confused not safe misunderstood excluded not good enough invisible not heard not acceptable sad or angry or both The great thing is that we can change all that by understanding that a lack of self esteem or deep seated shame makes us vulnerable to judgement. Whether we are consciously feeling shame, or whether it has been unconsciously carried with us for a long time, it is worth looking into processing these feelings, even if the help of a professional is needed. Sometimes we need a neutral view from someone

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I missed my bed…

The dad-weekend and mom-week thing were all new to us.  It is quite a change for a 7-year old who grew up having the run of the farm. Everywhere was safe. A huge playground.Divorce changes things. ​ ​Town and a mother who worked all day and came home at night bone-weary was all new.

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Feelings… fear them or embrace them?

We have this overriding fear of feeling our negative feelings. We will do anything not to feel them! We will stuff them down relentlessly with distractions. We will build thick  walls to keep out the possibility of being hurt again out. We will deny their existence. We will prevent hurt

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Our relationships with our fathers will have a significant influence on how we see men. It will determine whether we think they are trustworthy. It will influence whether we will be fearful of being abandoned by men. Through our father’s eyes we look at ourselves – this is how we imagine men will see us. Do we measure up? Or are we always going to over-compensate to make up for us not feeling worthy. And how much bad treatment will we take simply because we fear being abandoned?

If we are lucky enough to be treated by our dads like Princess Cheesecake, the One and Only, but with respect for our separateness, our entire view of ourselves changes. We expect more for ourselves, and we are faster to dismiss relationships that are toxic for us.

Wanting our father’s approval is a very normal desire for a little girl of any age. I remember how my father ridiculed people with normal fear, so at the age of six I decided I was not scared of his pack of ferocious Alsations. They did not eat me, so there must be some truth to the notion that dogs smell fear and will attack. But that experience of trying to impress my father meant that I could not connect to feeling fear. I did not know that I had fear of abandonment triggers, as I simply could not connect to any feelings of fear!

Leoni decided that she would have to be her two sisters’ caretaker. Her dad told her as the oldest they were her responsibility to make sure they were not bullied. So she built herself a bulletproof, tough attitude. ”It was very hard to make friends, as I did not let anyone see the real me. I was longing for a relationship in which I was accepted. I did not realise that my relationships kept failing because my bulletproof attitude meant I was pushing them out of my life. I had to learn all over how to let people see the real, soft me inside.”

Sandra’s dad died when she was very young. He was her hero. They had fun. He was one hundred percent on her side. She tried to recreate that relationship all her life. Problem was that …

 

 

 

 

 

 

Join us now, to start your journey to take back your life

 

 

 

 

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